My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
