I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize