how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
don't judge my taste in strippers
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
