That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
