I'm going to jail i love you
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
