I accidentally burped into my bong.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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