does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
