I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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