i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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