...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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