She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
