Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
