if i can run in heels then i can drive
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
