You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
