Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
