i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
