I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
