Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
These tits shall not be calmed
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
