I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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