i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize