I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize