wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize