:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize