the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
