Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I am available for nakedness
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
