i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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