i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
