ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
