I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
