you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
