i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
