so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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