The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
