Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize