are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
