We named our party play list daddy issues
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We got so high we made milksteak
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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