i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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