I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize