downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
