Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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