Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
