KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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