if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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