69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
