3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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