Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
