I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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