You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
