after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
