The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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