STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i think my cat just said my name.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
