just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
