is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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