He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
