Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
