We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
