Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I believe in your delicious
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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