Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
