Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
